When I was growing up and became sexually active (at about 21 years of age), I had premature ejaculation. The excitement, maybe, of finally getting a girl to be interested enough to drop her pants for me, caused all sorts of trouble and, of course, early discharge.
My next girlfriend fared no better. She was fond of chewing gum and watching television during sex. No matter how much action was going on, she always looked relaxed as she changed channels. I cannot remember now what happened to that relationship or why it failed.
Now, as a doctor, I am more in tune with my patients who suffer from poor erection and premature ejaculation. Erectile function is one of the key questions I ask my patients complaining of back or neck pain. Many do not share the information voluntarily but open up once I let the cat out of the bag.
When I have a couple in the clinic, the man often says things are alright, while the woman sits quietly, rolling her eyes up and down. She should know, as she is at the receiving end!
Hadija left her husband after three years of poorly consummated marriage. She tried her best but was simply not getting the service she signed up for. All the money and financial security could not stop her from walking out of the marriage. Poor husband! It is not something he can talk about openly.
Almost all men sometimes have trouble getting or keeping an erection and it is common in adult men. In many cases, the problem goes away with little or no treatment. In other cases, it can be an ongoing problem. An erection problem that does not go away can damage your self-esteem and ruin your relationship. It therefore needs to be treated.
Erection problems become more common with age. Physical causes are more common in older men. Emotional causes are more common in younger men. The causes range from diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, thyroid problems, lack of interest, low self esteem, drugs such as Digoxin, to drug abuse — using cocaine, alcohol and smoking — can lead to failure of erection.
Unrealistic expectation, poor communication with partners and bad previous sexual experiences are other issues.
An erection involves your brain, nerves, hormones, and blood vessels. Anything that interferes with these normal functions can lead to problems getting an erection. Couples who cannot talk to each other are likely to have problems with sexual intimacy. Men who have trouble talking about their feelings may find it hard to share their anxiety about sexual performance. Counseling can help both you and your partner.
There are also many drugs now available for promoting better erection and therefore improving the ability to penetrate and satisfy your partner. These drugs, such as Ostrin, improve service delivery.
There are also specific instructions to be followed when using of drugs.
Warning: Buying drugs from mallams outside night clubs and inside Danfo and Molue is a dangerous practice. These poisons may do more harm than good and further destroy your ability to obtain a satisfactory solution. Say ‘NO’ to unethical herbal concoctions that are not standardized those drugs that ‘cure all!’
This is often a problem during the teenage years and of no lasting consequence. It can be easily corrected in teenagers by general relaxation, experience and specific training. Actually, most men experience premature ejaculation at least once in their lives. The incidence is as high as 30 per cent, because there is great variability in both how long it takes men to ejaculate and how long both partners want sex to last.
The average time for normal intra-vaginal ejaculation to occur is about six minutes in most encounters. Ejaculating before two minutes may be considered premature, but it depends on the partners, as to whether it is adequate or constitutes a problem. Therefore, teenagers and young adults need not worry about this. A patient partner and comfortable surroundings help to achieve the impossible (last more than five minutes!).
Of course, there are tricks to use in delaying the inevitable. These techniques include concentrating on your partners’ fulfillment first, increasing the time allocated to foreplay and practicing coitus interruptus. This means slowing down and withdrawing, intermittently, for as long as possible.
For an adult who has recently developed premature ejaculation, the problem is totally different and demands more care and attention. A clinical examination is important to check for diseases such as diabetes and hypertension. If it is psychological, it may require the services of a psychologist to unravel the issues, which may or may not be related to the relationship.
Ostrin, Dapoxetine are a useful drug for the treatment of premature ejaculation. It significantly improves erection and is generally well tolerated. Ostrin or Tramadol also helps in greater than 90 per cent of men. Finally, desensitising creams such as Stud that are applied to the tip and shaft of the penis can also be used to prevent premature ejaculation. Such creams are applied on an “as needed” basis and have fewer systemic side effects.
It’s good to talk
If you have any of these two problems, you have to talk to two people. First and foremost, have a frank discussion with your partner and search for ways to resolve the problem. Talk openly to your partner about sex and your relationship. Other things to do are as follows: Get plenty of rest and take time to relax. Exercise and eat a healthy diet to keep good blood circulation. Cut down on smoking, alcohol and illegal drug use. Use safe sex practices to prevent HIV and STDs.
The second person to talk to about this problem is your doctor. Your doctor should be able to help or refer you to a specialist or a counselor. Get help early so normal ‘service’ can resume.
If you think you need one let me know, i would willing be of help.
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